Pairing(s): M/M, Kane/Daniel Bryan, Daniel Bryan/Randy Orton, mentions of past Daniel/AJ Lee
Rating: NC-17 SLASH
Disclaimer: I don't own anything here. Not a single bit of it.
Summary: Daniel has made a lot of mistakes in his life. He’s be weak and he’s been foolish. He’s done many things he’s not proud of, but nothing he’s done before now has ever made him feel this conflicted, this low to the ground, this small in the grand scheme of things. Inside he was tearing himself apart, but on the outside all he could do was shout a little louder, insist a little harder, and push a little further.
Warnings: I want to warn you ahead of time for some explicit sexual content, as well as touchy relationship issues including cheating and emotionally and physically compromising situations. Also triggers for verbal and physical humiliation (this is mostly mild).
Daniel didn't like that expression Randy wore. He didn't like it because number one, it was somehow smug, and two, beyond that it was unreadable. He could never quite catch what Randy's intentions were. It left him off balance, his world shifting left and right. Yes. Randy Orton left him completely off-kilter. There was a swirl in his stomach every single time their eyes met and Randy's narrowed for a fraction of a second, like he could look right through him as if he was as transparent as a pane of glass; his nose and brows would wrinkle in something that looked like deep concentration or mild disgust, leaving Daniel unsure of where he stood.
Randy was two extremes. Extreme calm and extreme chaos, just like someone else in Daniel's life right now (Kane, he could breathe the name in and out and it made his chest seize up), just like the someone before that (AJ, she had been so exciting, so passionate, so terrifying, so terribly unlucky), it was his pattern. Daniel had a type. His type was unbalanced. He could look at Randy and when Randy looked back like that, with that... that look that he loathed (loved) like he was doing right now as Daniel packed up to leave the arena, and his mouth would water; his heart would beat a little faster and a little harder against his ribcage.
While Kane was tucking his own gear away and getting changed, his back turned to everyone while he peeled out of his mask, Randy's eyes met Daniel's from across the sparsely populated room. The only others hanging around were just waiting to go out, waiting for their fight. They may as well have not been there at all for all the attention that they were being paid. There's was intent in Randy's sharp eyes, an unspoken promise for something Daniel wanted now and he wanted it bad. He swallowed audibly, his stomach in knots as Randy's gaze flicked away from his own and to the space behind him. Randy was looking at Kane, and Daniel felt the big man's presence at his back a second later. Randy tore his gaze away, looking at Daniel one last time before slinging his own bag over his shoulder and leaving without a word.
Daniel wanted to follow.
His own life was often in such serious disarray that he was just pulled in by that magnetic dysfunction that came off people like Kane and AJ and Randy in waves. Someone worse than him, someone more broken, more tumultuous, more, more, more-- He knew it was unhealthy. That was maybe both the best and worst parts of it all. He knew how unhealthy this was. He knew and was intentionally making it worse for himself too. Worse and worse and worse... He liked to pile it on, sling new weights around his neck to drag himself down further. In a way it made him feel stronger, more like a survivor and less like...
It was that draw, that compulsion, that raw need to feel in control and full of strength that put him into the position he was right now. There was stony silence between himself and Kane as they left, driving from the arena and back to the hotel. They had an early flight the next morning so they'd left directly after they'd finished their match in hopes of getting some real rest beforehand, or so Kane had suggested. Daniel was content to go along with it but there was an edge to his voice, a rushed nature to how he'd practically pulled Daniel out of his gear in the locker room and shoved things into their bags after Randy had left. It put Daniel on high alert. Something was wrong and he had a pretty good feeling he knew what, and if not he'd find out when they arrived at the hotel. He was dreading that moment. There was a discussion on their horizon that they both knew they needed to have but they weren't prepared for it. Or at least... Daniel wasn't.
In the span of silence Daniel glanced over at Kane, studying the way he held the steering wheel in such a way that was completely relaxed, fingers resting along the inner bottom portion, carefully turning it with the heel of his hand. He was actually a surprisingly careful driver, he took it just as seriously as he took everything else in his life. As he studied his eyes traveled up the length of Kane's arms to his face which was uncovered, his head was free of the mask and wig he had taken to wearing again these days. Daniel felt privileged to get to see Kane bare like this. He wore his mask more often than not and when it wasn't on he seemed somehow more human. It was easy to forget that at the heart of him, Kane wasn't really a monster. He'd been touched with a gift, or maybe it was a curse, but he was still human.
"I'm an inhuman monster! Do you really think you can just worm your way into my life and not get burned? I'll burn you down. Burn you alive!"
"You're not a monster. You're human. You are, I know you are. You're not inhuman you're just different. I should know. I'm different too."
"Ha! That's rich. What do you know about being different, short-stack? What? Did people pick on you because you had a big nose? Big deal."
"Maybe they did!"
From the time he was very small Kane had been different than all the other kids. Kids could be so cruel, and Kane had received more teasing in his lifetime than anyone else Daniel had ever known. He was big for his age, too rough, and he felt too much. A loner type who intimidated everyone around him and therefore, had no friends, only people who ridiculed him and whispered about him. His sensitivity was exploited, and he turned into a bully to protect himself. He'd made an armor out of all the things that people said he was so that it couldn't hurt him anymore. He'd embraced the darkness that other people saw in him and the gentle boy he'd been turned into the monster everyone knew today. Whenever Kane had admitted anything about his past Daniel's heart twisted up in his chest and he couldn't quite breathe. People had taken advantage of him so many time. Life had literally been evil to Kane, warped him, disfigured him, abandoned him, hurt him in so many ways. Even his own father had used him, nurtured that monstrous nature.
No one who had seen ever cared about the sensitive young man inside this hardened exterior. No one wanted to believe he was anything other than a freak.
Wow, I feel like a massive dick, Daniel's throat constricted as he thought of all that he'd done to wrong Kane. He had never meant for things to turn out this way. He'd pushed himself in, he'd forcefully beaten down those barriers, those walls, touched deeper than anyone had in years. All the times Kane had let people in he'd been stabbed where he was softest. Now Daniel's was stabbing him too. Just like everyone else had. He'd never wanted to be that person. He'd never wanted things to go this way.
Daniel tore his eyes away, his fingers moving to fiddle with his beard. In a way his beard was his own mask. Something to hide behind, a symbol of his growth and change after all he'd done and all he'd been through in the past couple years. Being with Kane had changed him. If he was honest with himself, no amount of company posturing or therapy could have ever made him okay with his own demons. It was knowing that he wasn't struggling alone that allowed Daniel to succeed, even if it was in the most miniscule of forms. They'd graduated anger management and they'd done it together.
"Do you remember..." Kane's deep voice was so much gentler outside the arena but it's resonance still startled him, jerking out of his thoughts so that he could look over as Kane spoke to him, "...when you first tried to kiss me. Do you remember what I said to you?"
Remember? Daniel's head had suffered quite a few concussions but it was hard to forget. Kane's big hands had shoved him so hard his feet had left the ground and he'd crashed into the lockers. There was a little scar on the back of his elbow from where he'd nicked it in the tumble. He swallowed down the lump that was quickly forming in his throat and took a breath,noting that the question wasn't rhetorical. Kane did expect an answer.
"You said I didn't want to do this with you, that it would be a mistake and that we shouldn't go down this path," Daniel recalled, his own voice quiet, barely above a whisper. The words were too sharp and too heavy, they cut right through Kane and when Daniel watched his face it twisted and crumpled as if Kane was coming to terms with the fact that he'd been right all along. Daniel wanted to fix it, make that face go away, he had to do something.
"But you were wrong. I mean we have our problems but we're fine," Daniel was good at lying to himself, and he put it into practice with others often but they weren't as easily convinced as he'd like. Kane snorted and he nodded in a way that looked entirely sarcastic. How a nod could look sarcastic Daniel wasn't sure, but it did.
"We're not fine," Kane pulled the car into a space in front of the hotel and said nothing more as he got out and grabbed their things from the back. Daniel didn't want to leave the car. He wanted to sit here and rot. The way Kane had said it was so full of honest hurt. Did he know? Maybe he did and Daniel was fooling himself to think he could keep it hidden.
Kane didn't wait on Daniel to follow before he headed inside. He was just ready to sink into the upholstery and become one with the car for the rest of eternity rather than face what he knew now was coming. Much as he would have liked to avoid this problem, make it wait one more day (just one more day), he knew he couldn't. He had to face the mess he'd made of this relationship. He got out and followed behind Kane, jogging to catch up with him just as he got on the elevator. He took a breath, opening his mouth to say something, but Kane growled. It wasn't so much to scare Daniel as it was to warn him. One low sound like that was enough to tell Daniel not here.
So he closed his mouth and waited until they were behind the closed hotel room door. It was killing him inside to see Kane this withdrawn and this upset. He'd done this. I did this. He'd added himself to a list of people he'd always shamed and never wanted to be bundled in with. It turned his stomach and his face paled when he saw how calm and complacent Kane seemed to be. It was as if he'd expected this. Like it was routine.
I did this.
"We're not fine," Daniel echoed Kane's words, confirming everything Kane already knew. Their relationship was coming apart at the seams because there was suddenly a third person in the equation, trying to fit in while at the same time not disturbing what already existed. Spin it any way you like, at the end of the day, Daniel couldn't call it anything but what it was.
"You're cheating on me," Kane said it so plainly and gently that it almost seemed like it wasn't a major betrayal. That was how little Kane thought of himself, Daniel realized, so little that he didn't think this would end any differently than it was going to end now. And yet, some part of Daniel was mad at Kane for not fighting him, for not being more upset, more aggressive. It was so selfish to want it, but Daniel wanted Kane to yell at him and try to work this out; he wanted him to be shocked and appalled and infuriated.
He just wasn't. He was so resigned to what was going on that he couldn't even muster a grimace.
"I am," Daniel's words came out slightly unsure as he stood there awkwardly watching Kane take a seat on the edge of one of the beds. He threaded his fingers together under his chin and propped his elbows on his knees, not looking at Daniel anymore. Kane sighed. He sighed with his whole body, deflating and looking somewhat smaller than he should have. It cut Daniel somewhere deep inside to see the pillar of strength in his life reduced to this-- to looking so defeated.
"Why?" Kane asked, lifting his gaze, his eyes boring into Daniel's so fiercely that Daniel wanted to look away but he didn't dare. He held that painfully accusatory look until he thought he might cry, searching for an answer but he didn't have a good one.
"What does he have that I can't give you? Is it the sex? Is it because he's younger? Because he's more attractive than me? What is he doing for you that I can't do?"
Oh god, it was none of those things, it was something that Daniel didn't have a word for. A chemistry and a connection and a way that Randy looked at him and Daniel knew he wanted to much and he knew he'd messed up and--
"No," Daniel's hands moved, open palms turning upward as he approached Kane and reached out to him, wanting to touch, wanting to grasp those broad shoulders and shake him, insist that none of that mattered, "it's not about any of that. It's... Kane. I'm... I don't know why or how it happened, it just did."
His fingers made contact with Kane's shoulders and Kane's hands parted, his wrists knocked against Daniel's forearms, and pushed that touch away.
"Don't. Don't give me that. There's a damn good reason you're doing this and I want to know what it is so I know if I can fix it," Kane snapped at him, showing those barbed edges, the anger and the pain he was so carefully bottling up so he didn't do something stupid and accidentally hurt Daniel. When these realizations hit him, Daniel knew right then he'd never deserved Kane to begin with. Beneath it all he was a gentle man. He'd loved plenty. Maybe loved too many. They'd all burned him, worse than the fire he'd lived through had. Tori who he had been so passionate about had left him for X-Pac, someone who Kane had once called partner and friend, Terri had gotten his hopes up for something that in the end was nothing, Lita had taken him all the way to the altar, toyed with his emotions, hurting him viciously and intensely, and then there was AJ, the short lived flame... Kane was by no means a heartless monster.
What have I done? Jesus...
"I..." The words wouldn't come. He didn't know what to say. He thought of Randy, of the way Randy slammed him around and talked down to him like he was weak, the way he riled Daniel up, wound him up, then spun him out and watched him go. Randy liked antagonizing Daniel. If Daniel was honest with himself he knew that Randy... The thing that Randy did that Kane didn't, was treat him like a challenge. Like he was someone worth pushing, worth fighting, and someone to be overcome.
Kane waited in that pause for so long that Daniel wondered if he would ever speak again or if they'd just get stuck like this for the rest of their lives, never moving on, and never moving forward.
"He doesn't love you," Kane's voice was thicker, full of barely contained emotion. The way it husked around those words made Daniel's heart palpitate uncomfortably.
"And I don't love him," Daniel answered. Somehow that seemed to lift some of the pressure while also darkening Kane's expression even more, as if love would make this situation more understandable.
"Then what the hell is it, Daniel? Just tell me. I want to hear," Kane was losing his control, his grip on that temper slipping. There was a very small window here during which Daniel could either diffuse the situation or escalate it, the trouble was, he didn't know how to accomplish either result. He was terrified of saying the wrong thing. He just stood there, mouth agape, hands upturned, still pleading for some kind of mercy from Kane, as if he wasn't getting enough of that already. Kane was so calm. Too calm.
"How are you so calm right now?" Daniel had always had a bit of an issue with saying the right thing at the right time. His whole life was wrong place, wrong thing, wrong time. He'd had his handful of lucky scrapes but for the most part he was a mess, stumbling into so many feet his mouth was sore and over-full. Kane seemed to twitch and the vein in his neck became all too visible as his jaw clenched and every cord of muscle tightened up.
"Because if I don't stay calm I might tear your dick off, that's why," Kane's gravelly reply made Daniel take a physical step back, his eyes wide with horror. Kane sounded so serious that he was almost sure that he was serious about that.
"I'm sorry, Kane," Daniel's apology was, apparently, the boiling point. Kane stood up in a rush and backed Daniel to the wall, snarling down at him.
"You're sorry? You screw someone else and can't even tell me why the hell you needed to get something from someone else and you're sorry?! Do you even realize how I feel about you? Do you have any idea how much I've devoted to this mess? To us!? I am fighting by your side in that ring, Daniel, I'm trying to look out for you and not step on your sensitive and incredibly fragile ego! I walk on eggshells around you and you go through me like a battering ram and I let you because I care about you, you jackass!" Kane's booming voice made Daniel cower, pressing himself into the wall as he forced himself to meet those mismatched eyes and take every lash. He deserved this. This and much more.
"Yes," Daniel uttered soft and insistent.
"No," Kane growled back, prodding Daniel's chest with his finger.
"Yes," his voice was pleading this time, begging, pushing for Kane to cave and believe him. Yes he was sorry. He was more sorry about this than he'd been about anything else in his entire life.
"No! No, you don't get to be sorry, Daniel. You get to grab your stuff, and go," Kane's finger jerked away from Daniel's chest and pointed to his bags. He heaved one last sigh through his nose as what he'd just said sank in for them both. Go. He was done.
"No, come on. We can work this out, Kane, please. Don't make me go," Daniel touched Kane's upper arm but his hand was swatted away again.
"We've been talking about a break for a while. Maybe now is the right time. Just... You need to figure out what the hell it is you want. I won't wait around forever but you figure out what it was you felt the damn need to go to Orton for and maybe... Maybe we can work it out later. Right now, I need you to go before I really hurt you," Kane was speaking slow, serious, and with finality. Daniel would have stayed to argue but he knew it was futile. Kane's mind was made up and it wouldn't be fair of him to keep this up. He'd put Kane through enough for tonight, for a lifetime really. No one should ever have to feel betrayed. Least of all someone who'd grown entirely used to the sensation. The way Kane was so completely resigned spoke of how much he'd expected it. That cut deep.
Daniel spared them both the lengthy battle and grabbed his things.
Shortly thereafter he found himself in front of Randy's hotel room, contemplating knocking on the door. He looked ridiculous, standing in the hall with his suitcases and duffel bag and laptop case, late in the evening. He could hear Randy watching the news through the door and he wondered briefly if he'd dozed off. He'd watched Randy do it once before, but it didn't last. Randy didn't like showing vulnerability; he didn't like sleeping around others. He'd startled himself awake and asked (forced) Daniel to leave. So begrudgingly, he had. He thought of that moment, the way Randy's hand had pressed against his chest and his eyes had darted away...
No. It wouldn't do to show up uninvited and broken like this, so he just went down to the lobby, checked into his own room, and instead sent Randy a text. At the very least, if he was awake, maybe Daniel could convince Randy to come to him. He didn't want to be alone. There was no shame in that, right?
[sms to; Randy] He figured it out. Told me we're taking a break and that I need to figure out what it is I want.
He sent the text and set his phone aside, chewing on the side of his thumb as he waited. When his phone didn't immediately go off with a response he started to get a little uneasy, jitters set in and he was cracking his knuckles, wringing his hands, trying to focus on something else. Anything else. He turned on the television and the news was playing. Randy... Daniel's restlessness got the better of him and he found himself pacing around the hotel, waiting, hoping, praying for a response from Randy. He was antsy. He was a mess. He was ready to peel out of his own skin and drift into the cosmos, become nothing. Maybe he already was nothing. He couldn't tell anymore. He felt like nothing. Randy's response wasn't coming so Daniel took a shower.
That'll calm my nerves... Remember your therapy. Deep, even breaths.
He stripped down, stood under the spray, and wished he could drown like this. Drown out the noise in his head, the guilt twisting in his chest, and the desire that still burned inside him for someone he should have never desired to begin with. Why isn't he answering? He'd ruined a good thing. He knew it. He should have known he'd screw it up. Sure things with Kane had never been totally normal, but that wasn't what Daniel liked? Kane was powerful and unpredictable. He was able to terrify Daniel one moment and make him feel totally safe the next. That's what he wanted, wasn't it? He thought, not for the first time, about how fucked up he was. About how the things he looked for in an ideal partner were always in a way, incredibly unhealthy for him.
You're attracted to psychopaths. You need to just deal with that fact, dude, he told himself quietly, rubbing his fingers across his mouth and down over his wet beard. After that thought he just spaced out, images of AJ and Kane and Randy all flashing and blurring together behind his closed eyes while the spray stung his skin with it's heat. The kisses and the quiet moments and the shouting and the fights. AJ had smashed her head against the wall and tore at her hair during their first real fight. Kane had grabbed him by his throat and Daniel had been sure that he was going to be killed for a split second. Randy...
His phone chimed and he practically fell out of the shower when he heard it. He scrambled across the bathroom floor and toward the sink where it sat in such a rush he lost his footing twice. He slipped and caught himself, arms out on the curved edge. He hoisted his body up with some effort, fumbled for the phone, and unlocked it to pull up the message.
[sms from; Randy] What do you want?
Daniel found his feet and straightened up, staring down at the foggy screen with his lips pursed and brows drawn together. What did he want? What he wanted was for things to just work themselves out. He wanted the best of both worlds. He wanted chaos and security. He wanted things he couldn't have and he didn't want to screw up the things he could have. As he thought about how he felt right in that moment, he realized how alone he really was in this hotel room. He could have stayed here, done nothing, gone to Kane the next day and fixed things if he really wanted to. If he really tried. He could make something up about how Randy was just a fleeting thing that wasn't important, that didn't give him anything except sexual gratification.
He could do that and push their relationship onward with lies. Or... He could go to Randy. He could let go of good things to grab hold of temporary indulgence instead. That's what he'd been doing this entire time.
And he was about to do it again.
[sms to; Randy] You.
The next message came in moments, no stutter, no wait period. It was instant gratification.
[sms from; Randy] 1506
Randy's room number. An open invitation. Daniel's body moved all on its own, grabbing for a towel to dry off. He rubbed it over himself in a hurry and then fled the bathroom to get dressed. He pulled on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants but didn't bother with anything else. He just left after that, not wanting to linger in this empty place a minute longer. He fled his lonely little hotel room and went back up to Randy's, having to pass Kane's (theirs) on the way. As he did he hesitated, stopped, and looked back at that door that separated him from the person he'd been closest too for the past several months. He had to force himself forward, force himself to keep going down the hall and around the corner to where Randy's room was. That should have been a very clear signal that this was a mistake. When he faced the door again, this time he just knocked.
He was shaking with nerves, emotion, and impatience; he was like a raw nerve, taking in too many stimuli at once. He was suffering and overwhelmed with a multitude of things that his senses were picking up. He could smell the carpet cleaner the hotel used, he could hear the nearby droning televisions, he could hear Randy moving to the door. He was shuffling and probably tired.
When the door swung open, Randy didn't really look at him, just hooked two fingers into the collar of his t-shirt and pulled him into the room, kicking the door shut once Daniel was inside, right up against his chest. He was barely better dressed than Daniel, soft cotton pajama pants and a t-shirt that was so worn he wondered how long Randy had had it. The noise in his head was drowned out in the wake of a strong wave of just Randy. He didn't have room for much else really, being this close the warmth that radiated off Randy's body. Daniel's senses were totally filled with him. Randy's skin, Randy's soap, Randy's aftershave, Randy, Randy, Randy.
"I saw how you were looking at me. You stare. Too much. It's no wonder he found out," Randy's tone was soft, in a way sensual, even though he was being accusatory. He had a weird way of pissing Daniel off while at the same time, endearing him to him more and more. While he spoke, his fingers skated up along Daniel's arms and then came to rest on his shoulders, grabbing them fully and firmly. There was so much strength in those calculated movements. Those hands had beaten him senseless before, slapped him, punched him, thrown him, and right now the only thing he could really think about them doing was touching him.
"I don't want to talk about it," Daniel stated, words coming out dry and rugged, like he hadn't spoken in decades and suddenly remembered how. Randy gave one subtle nod, showing he understood and just moved. Fluidly he shifted his weight from foot to foot, one of his hands traveling up to grasp at his jaw and pull him closer while he ducked his head lower to kiss him. Daniel tilted his head to accommodate Randy, finding at first, his heart wasn't in the kiss. Then his back was suddenly hitting the door and Randy was solid force against him and his skin lit up with sparks all over, head to toe.
This-- God this made him crazy. The way Randy kissed him made him feel like he was the only man on earth who could satisfy him. Not because he was gorgeous or skilled or even that great of a lay, but because he presented challenge. Randy kissed him like he was going to conquer him, all rough lips and slick tongue, teeth clicking together and catching here and there. This was the missing piece in his life. This feeling that he was something powerful, something strong, something that wasn't easily taken or easily broken. Randy worked to push him, worked to make him feel small, he just worked.
All those empty spaces were suddenly bursting with life and sensation and fight. He was filled to the brim with this, so much so that excess was seeping through the cracks and he thought he might burst. Randy's hands travelled a steady path down his sides, around to his front, and down into his sweatpants to find the bare, soft skin beneath. Each place Randy's hands touched him burned for more.
"Oh," Randy laughed the word into Daniel's lips and Daniel nipped Randy's in return. There was something both demeaning and arousing about that laugh. Always contradictory, always both sides of the same coin. It was smug and satisfied as well as amused. He took a step back, his fingers playing through the coarse curls beneath Daniel's waistband as he looked him up and down, like he was on display, prepared this way, just for Randy.
Just for him to wreck.
"I was in a hurry," Daniel sounded defensive but his hips betrayed him. They were shuddering forward, gently rocking toward Randy's hand, seeking his hot touch. Randy's fingers drew over the length of him, just enough of a touch to call him to attention and then, he withdrew his hand and turned away, leaving Daniel against the door as he made his way over to the bed, to peel out of his shirt and take a seat on the edge. He looked over at Daniel, eyes flashing in the low light as light reflected off of them. The only source of illumination came from the flickering news program still playing out across the television that was now on mute. That look he gave was a beckoning one. The way he gazed spoke of a weird form of desire. Not just sexual but something more. That desire to acquire and conquer was evident in how he reached a hand out to Daniel and urged him to come closer.
Daniel stripped off his own shirt as he crossed the space between them and took a seat beside Randy on the bed. His eyes were drawn to all the dark tattoo work on his arms. He'd traced the lines before with his fingers, in the secret and quiet few moments they'd had together a handful of times before. Randy didn't mind the very intimate affection because in a way it was quite like worship, the way Daniel's fingers had spanned across him in awe of each line and shadow. Randy noticed Daniel looking and his muscles flexed just enough to show off without looking like he was really trying to. He was so perceptive and such a calculated player of the game that Daniel had to admire it. He was weak kneed in moments, easy, for Randy. Though he'd fight not to show it.
When Daniel's eyes lifted and met Randy's again, he only had seconds before Randy's hand was at his jaw again, grasping and pulling him in for another kiss while his body twisted to pin Daniel's down against the mattress. The sudden movement left Daniel's head spinning, his eyes rolling back into his head and sliding shut. He laid himself out and bare, fighting back into their kiss with fervency and intensity. Randy was quick to move all the pieces into place so he could get what he knew they both wanted. There was a rushed awkwardness to the way they struggled to gain a proper angle on the bed and volleyed for some kind of dominance. Eventually Daniel's head made it to the pillow and his legs were draped across Randy's thighs, leaving him widely spread and exposed, despite the fact that they both still had clothes covering their lower halves. There was heat building up between them, expanding and surrounding them as Randy dipped down and they just kissed.
Randy's tongue pried into Daniel, and when Daniel leaned up for more Randy would draw back just enough to keep him from deepening things the way he wanted to so desperately. It was all part of how Randy kept control and how he made Daniel fight for everything he might be able to grab hold of, for however few seconds. Tonight however, there wasn't enough fight in Daniel. He was too needy, too open, too ready to just surrender. He pushed but he didn't surge, he grasped but didn't cling, he groaned but didn't growl. He was gentler. Easier. Softened by blows he'd already taken this evening. Blows he deserved. It made Randy slow, made him ease up. Randy rarely allowed himself to be gentle. He was usually too focused on what he wanted to accomplish, how he wanted to go about doing it, that he didn't have time to be cautious or the mind to.
Tonight was just an off night for everyone it seemed.
He could tell Daniel wasn't all there, and he pulled away, their mouths separating with a soft, wet sound. Their breath was heavy and made the space between them muggy and damp, sweat already pricking at their pores from the hot and heavy kisses. Randy peered down at Daniel, eyes narrowed while his tongue dragged across his swollen lips. He was scanning in that way that only he could. It was that predatory look that took in strengths and weaknesses, it sized people up before Randy tore them down. This time, however, there was no sudden snap to the mat to follow this cataloguing look. Just a softly uttered statement.
"You're not all here," Randy pointed out, drawing Daniel closer to the moment, breaking a cardinal rule of what this was supposed to be. Why? Why are you doing this? He was right. Daniel didn't want to admit to it, but it was true. Part of him was missing from the moment. The part that fought. The part that needed conquering. The part that Randy enjoyed most was just...
"No?" Daniel acted as if he didn't know what Randy was talking about, but he had a pretty good idea. It was just easier to deflect. He didn't talk with Randy, and Randy had always been okay with that. In fact, Randy had often insisted on it. (Shut up, Bryan, and turn around--) Why should they talk? That would only complicate things. Weren't things complicated enough?
"Yeah," Randy kissed him again, this time slower, gentler, like he wanted to kiss all of him open, unzip his heart and soul with his tongue so he could get inside and lick those wounds that he'd seen. It surprised him, so much so that Daniel made a strangled, soft noise in the back of his throat at this change. This wasn't them this was (broad chest, strong arms, booming voice, mismatched eyes, genuine words, warmth radiating outward) something different. Something he already had. Something he'd been running away from. So Daniel turned that whimpering sound into a growl and pushed at Randy's chest, tossing him over so he could pin him instead. He seated himself on those hips and kissed him like he wanted to bruise Randy's lips so everyone could see just what he'd done tomorrow.
He couldn't take tender kisses. Not from Randy Orton. Not now.
So Randy matched him, blow for blow. His nails raked down Daniel's back, leaving burning hot streaks in their wake, and he pulled the waistband of Daniel's sweats downward while rocking his hips upward for some friction. They grunted together, breathed together, and soon, Daniel found his world spinning around as Randy flipped them again, jerking his sweats down farther to expose him. He already felt so exposed as it was, but he barely struggled as Randy tugged them away completely and tossed them aside. He wanted this. He wanted it just as badly as Randy did.
Everything sped up to a pace that felt more familiar. Randy's teeth dragged across his chest, his tongue slid over his skin, and his hands pushed his legs apart. Daniel's fingers grasped at Randy's head, pushing, downward, his hips snapped up and he rubbed himself against Randy's cheek and across his scruffy jaw. He wanted to just get lost in this, in feeling nothing and feeling everything.
Randy's mouth, Randy's hands, Randy's strength, every ripple of muscle, and every gasping breath took Daniel in. He let go and he got lost.
Randy turned him over and worked his way inside him, with fingers, with lubricant, and finally his cock. He spread him open and pressed him downward into the mattress. He held him down and growled insults in his ear, low and sharp. Each thrust was sudden, jarring, painful in the right way, and Daniel felt somehow more complete. As Randy hissed poison in his ear though, something was different this time. Something had changed and there was a possessive lilt to everything he uttered against Daniel's skin.
"Is this what you want? Is this what no one else can give you?"
Randy's body was so solid and firm against his own as he pressed into him over and over, their skin clapping together, lewd and slick with sweat. His fingers tightened and wrapped into Daniel's hair, keeping the side of his face pressed to the mattress while his opposite hand dug rivets into his hip and held his backside upward. Randy pulled him into every thrust, each felt somehow stronger than the one before it. Daniel's skin tingled with the fading sting of them connecting. Over and over and over and over.... Yes, please, god, this is what I need, don't stop.
"You just want to feel like scum, don't you? You like to be in emotional pain all the time. You're some kind of masochist. Maybe you forgot for a while there, huh?"
Randy's open palm smacked Daniel's flank and then his fingers snaked away from his hip. He pressed his palm firmly against Daniel's belly, just inches away from his length. It was aching, bobbing between the bed and his stomach, heavy with blood and the need to be touched. He craved the attention, he desired the touch, he wanted to tumble over the edge and into ecstasy. Randy's words rang true and they knotted him up inside. There was a tightness in his chest, his breath wasn't coming easy at this angle, with his face against the bed and his fingers grabbing for purchase in the sheets. He was seeing spots and gasping for air, gasping for more.
"You forgot what you are? Well that's okay. I'll put you back in your place."
Was this his place? It sure felt like it. No one else made him feel so desired and so owned and so low all at once. He achieved something here with Randy that no one else had ever been able to achieve before. Every self deprecating desire and every egotistical drive in Daniel were pushed into one pulsing, burning, surging need. Randy could take that need and satisfy it. Rip it to shreds.
"You're mine. I've taken you. I've conquered you. You're mine and only mine. You can run to someone else as many times as you want but I've marked you. I've bitten you."
The way Randy spoke, the way his words spun and twisted a web around Daniel's mind and squeezed him made him feel as though the one he'd really been cheating on all along was Randy. Randy's fingers grasped him, finally, they took hold and they stroked over every inch of him, steady and slow, fitting perfectly with how his pace had slowed and become about punishing and not pleasuring. Their bodies met with loud smacks and each thrust felt like it reached deeper than the last. The mixture of the smack, the stretch, the burn, and the tug made him weak. His knees slid farther apart and Randy pushed in further, just rocking a little as his hands slid away from both Daniel's head and his cock to grab his hips and hold him there. He was still, no thrusts, just a gentle sway of his body that made Daniel more aware of how every part of his was throbbing.
He was dizzy and his pulse pounded in his ears, but what Randy said next drowned that sound out.
"You'll only ever truly be satisfied by me because I tore you down, I conquered you, I made you want me like this and that's the way I want it. You're mine."
Daniel's breath caught in his throat, like barbs in soft, supple flesh. It snagged and tore and he couldn't get it down. He was choking. He was suffocating. His face felt numb. He couldn't breathe.
That was it. That was the completeness he'd been looking for.
How entirely fucked up was that?
Daniel sputtered, trying to force a word out but his head was spinning and his tongue felt sticky and heavy behind his teeth. It took a few tries and Randy waited for him.
"P...please," came his soft response. It could have meant many things. Please don't. Please do. Please stop. Please go. Please take me. Please leave me. Please.
Randy knew which one it was. He knew and began to move, his hips snapping again, thrusting into Daniel like he was trying to break him in half, and maybe he was. He fucked him like that until Daniel was spent, a mess of jellied legs and rose flushed skin. He let Daniel spill and split apart all over and didn't complain. This is what Randy had wanted. Daniel only wished he'd realized sooner that maybe this was what he wanted too.
In the aftermath, Daniel couldn't move. His limbs were too heavy, too shaky, and too sleepy. Randy cleaned him up and then laid beside him. All those motions passed Daniel's vision in a blur, but when Randy laid beside him in the bed, he tried to call some presences of mind back to his body from wherever it had drifted off to.
Randy seemed strangely at ease when Daniel rolled onto his side to look at him. He'd flicked on the bedside lamp and was re-dressed in his pajama pants, eyes focused on his phone in his hand. There was something bizarre about seeing Randy like this. Sometimes when he looked at Randy, what he saw was barely human (I'm an inhuman monster) and it scared him. But in moments like this he remembered that there was more to the viper than met the eye. (No you're not.) So much more.
"Randy," it was meant to sound inquisitive but it was really just a hoarse whisper. Randy's eyes didn't lift from his phone but he already seemed to have an answer for a question that Daniel hadn't even asked yet.
"I don't love you. And I probably never will."
Daniel let the words sink in. The way he'd said them sounded like a preamble to something else, something almost like an offer.
"I don't think..." Daniel thought about Kane one last time. He thought about how much Kane cared. He thought about how he'd said once that he wanted to love Daniel.
"I don't think that's what I'm looking for right now," Daniel finally said.
Randy's eyes lifted and met Daniel's own. They were searching again, in that way only they could do. They sized Daniel up, as if trying to determine if that was really true. When he got whatever it was he was looking for he set his phone aside and switched out the light. He settled down into the sheets and opened an arm to Daniel that he didn't hesitate to slip under.
"Come on," Randy muttered, sounding gruff and a little exhausted, "lets get some sleep."
Daniel's chest swelled. He nestled his head against Randy, closed his eyes, and drifted away.